Finding The Hidden InfoSec Story

The Very Model of an Information Officer

Photo Credit: Perspektivet Museum via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: Perspektivet Museum via Compfight cc

True leadership positions require an enormous amount of knowledge and responsibility, and this is a tribute to Information Officers everywhere. This includes, but is not limited to, CIOs, CTOs, CSOs, and CISOs.

The original for this is from the Gilbert and Sullivan musical “Pirates of Penzance,” and the original song can be heard here. (2:53 long).

This is no match for the original, nor will I sing it! But it’s my attempt at helping people appreciate their IOs.

Happy Singing!

 

I am the very model of an Information Officer

I’ve information computing, programming, and philosopher

I know company presidents and quote the ledger financial

From east and west and north and south, both here and international

 

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About programming language I’m acquainted with both that and this

I know about designing, implementing, and analysis

 

I’m very good at calculating ROI, both hard and soft

I talk to people all day long about opportunity cost

In short about computers, programmers, and the philosophers

I am the very model of an Information Officer.

 

I know about the history of ARPANET and TCP

I know about the algorithms, and about V. O. I. P.

I quote compliance requirements with executive elegance

Excelling at defining budgets for security governance

 

I build extended ecosystems based on standards made by NIST

I’m energetic, experienced, engaging, a strategist

Based on the diatonic scale I write songs ‘bout emerging threats

I’ve spoken with the Board of Regents ‘bout issues that made them sweat


Then I performed an audit of the auditors who audit us

And then thanked them graciously for being so felicitous

In short in matters computing, programming, and philosopher

I am the very model of an Information Officer

 

In fact I know to great extent each issue technological

I don’t prevaricate when asked about things philological

At work those network aberrations simply never worry me

My team is quite proficient at fixing things with alacrity

 

The clandestine cyberthreats never catch us in complacency

Their ineptitude is hampered by our crew’s intrepidity

I always have an answer for impertinence and indolence

Some people prob’bly think I’m just a fancy suited aberrance  

 

My computing knowledge reaches back beyond Antikythera

I wax eloquent when I talk about erudite errata

But still in matters computing, programming, and philosopher

I am the very model of an Information Officer

Author: Ross Moore

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